Post by stennick on Sept 10, 2009 16:52:43 GMT -5
Alright Anthony I know we’ve chatted before about your beloved Eye Cee Dubya. You’ve told me these last two shows I believe? At any rate these last few shows are your personal best work ever. I also know we’ve talked about how just because their your best shows ever I’m not expecting Den or Tenn’s Wrestlemania, or Matchmaker’s Starrcade or Tommy’s Halloween Havoc. Or Jimberg’s No Way Out, or even a damn good episode of Myth’s Tyranny. So you do you and we’ll see what happens from there.
The hype is very similar to Hobo’s right down to the graphics. I’m not sure if you do his graphics, he does your graphics, you each do your own graphics, or some un named silent partner does both of your graphics. Pretty good graphics here, I can kinda see the D Dayish background. Ok I’m boring myself lets get on with the show.
Pretty good intro. Parts of it were long winded or not worded the best they could be. One part is “the dark clouds prevent any of the suns passing through”. When you could have said “clouds darker than death itself start to roll into the tranquil day. As the ominious dark clouds roll forward they swallow up the sunlight and seemingly any life along with it”. Something that is better than “prevents any sun from passing through”. I’m not quite sure how to explain it better. You do a good job in some parts being very descriptive and then in others you seem to trip over your words. That being the case good effort and just work on making sure it sounds natural and not forced ya know?
Ok on with the show. Also I’m not sure you need TWO opening video packages. We just got the huge D Day one and now we got a “Gods gonna cut you down” one. Which don’t get me wrong anytime I get to read some Cash lyrics is a good time but the D Day video package more than supplied the point.
The opening bit was ok but honestly after reading Hobos review he did the exact same thing. I don’t know if you ripped the idea from him but its such an exact idea it doesn’t come across smelling so fresh when someone else does it ya know? Also instead of saying 3/8 matches are title matches couldn’t you have said ‘and we have THREE championships, on the line, LIVE on pay per view”. I mean 3/8 what number is that? Its not like we don’t already know there is eight matches going on tonight. One thing I’m noticing early on in your writing is you repeat things to the reader a lot. One thing I’ve learned is you have to have faith in the reader to pick up on your writing. If they can’t figure out there is eight matches tonight by you telling them that in the opening monologue how do you expect them to pick up on the tiny subtleties of your story telling?
You go down EVERY match on the card in full detail. Again this is what your preshow is for. Your opening monologue needs to be short, sweet, fun, entertaining and to the point. A fun thing for pay per views is their big, their unique, their unpredictable. “Tommy Dreamer vs. The Sandman, Whats gonna happen when two extreme legends go one on one in front of this Philadelphia crowd for the VERY last time?” Which leads me to my next point. What in the world is the point in saying it’s a career vs. career match if BOTH men are retiring after the match?
Dreamer vs. Sandman
I have to say the match was everything you would expect out of these two. It had all the classic elements. That being said it felt like an exhibition match. There was no blood feud, there was no reward for the other. There wasn’t even the bragging rights of saying you retired the other one since they BOTH said before the match even started before the night began it was their last match. To me that’s very anti climatic. You did right by the match I’m not saying that, I’m just saying a career vs. career match is better suited when one of them actually wants to keep wrestling. What I would have done is have Dreamer win the match and then come out next week and talk about how he thought retiring The Sandman would give his career that boost of energy it needed. He thought putting his own career on the line last week would have motivated him, it would have pushed him to be as hungry as he was in 95 when they two first crossed paths. He thought throwing himself head on with his past like that would create conflict in his life, it would renew him as a man. Instead listening to that crowd, listening to the ovation they gave both of them. Staring back at Sandman while Joey and Paul called the match…..well that’s when it hit him he wasn’t looking for a shot in the arm from his past……deep down he just wanted his career to come full circle. Something of that nature you know. So both men retire but at the time you don’t know that’s gonna go down so you as a fan have something to kind of fight with yourself about. When two fan favorites are going at it you have to say “I want him to win, no I want him to win.”
Again something Hobo influenced is there is no breaks, no graphics, nothing to tell me a new segment is up. I was reading about Dreamer and Sandman and then Christian is on my “screen”. I said all of this in the Hobo review but I’m gonna take a guess that with your pre show hype, your loved of barbed wire matches, and your show structuring and presentation that you have kind of came up in the way of the Hobo. Nothing wrong with that if you read my shows they have a huge Tenn/POW feel to them with a dash of Den at times. Christian could have been more cocky could have been “more peeps, that’s how I roll, Captain Charismaish”. It wasn’t bad it just lacked the arrogance, the cockyness, the I’m way fucking cooler than you that Christian gives off. He was more threatening than cool. That would be ok if Christian were the face. You know the injured face coming back and promising “there will be blood”. But he’s the heel so your cutting the promo as if he’s a face returning from a long injury but he’s a HEEL returning from an injury so it has to go differently. “I sat at home with my gorgeous wife. I don’t even know why I’m telling you people this since the only time you get close to a gorgeous women is when you use your free hand to turn the magazine page. I sat at home for months watching Rob Van Dam with his stupid finger point, and his marijuana innuendo and it made me realize some things. You see no matter how much better than Rob Van Dam I am….and believe me I am better. No matter how much COOLER than Rob Van Damn I am…..” something like that I could go on but you get the point. There was no brashness to Captain Charisma he came across as sort of generic.
I was digging this Rebellion tag team deal and then this mystery guy walks in and says “your not ready to compete yet” and they say “ok”. Also ICW has Wrestlemania as their big show of the year? Furthermore I think your missing out on having a good babyface, southern boys tag team by having these guys follow this mystery cat around but I’m usually not one to comment on storylines until I see where their going for a few shows. That being said Joey Styles, Paul Heyman, Dreamer, Taz, Sandman, RVD and Todd Gordon as commish…….hmmm maybe you got the wrong vowel in “I”CW?
Helms vs. Rey vs. Styles
Here Helms is the “Sensation” of Innovation but in your hype I’m almost sure you called him the “Innovator of Violence”. I’m going to check now. Yes you did you called him the innovator of violence. I know it seems like no big deal but at the end of the day it comes down to attention to detail. I would assume you both previewed and then posted your hype for this show and if your anything like me you’ve traveled back around to your show’s page a time or two to look at presentation. Letting something like that slip through the cracks is minor but it’s the minor things that bring someone from really being part of your show to just kinda going through the motions. The more things you can do to bring someone in the more minor things I mean the more genuine it feels. You would never see a mistake like that in a piece of Den hype and there is good reason for that. The man crawls over his product in search of mistakes. Tenn is the same way. That’s what separates good from great sometimes the ability to crawl over your own work in search of the tiniest mistakes or flaws. That being said the match itself was good and the right guy went over. I figured you’d go for indy markout #349 and have AJ win. Kudos to you fine sir.
Ok Rob Van Dam doesn’t talk NEAR that much. I have never heard a Rob Van Dam promo that long. Things like “saying that bull”. That’s not Rob Van Dam. The promo shouldn’t even been scheduled. Someone should have found RVD in the back meditating or doing whatever the hell he does. Something like
“Rob Van Dam any comments on Christian’s words to you earlier in the night”
Rob: Wha? You mean that dude made it to the building tonight? I thought his shoulder might prevent him from you know driving…..and then I thought well maybe he’ll get a driver, but then I figured if even the dude did get a driver he’d start bitching and moaning and complaining and the driver would wind up leaving him on the side of the road somewhere…..so uh yeah I guess I actually didn’t hear what he had to say….
You know something along those lines. Where he just plays it cool like he’s not even worried or concerned with Christian Cage. Instead you got him verbally waxing poetically about Christian Cage. It doesn’t seem like the feud is THAT crazy yet that he needs to completely break his usual m.o just to go at Cage verbally….
Cage vs. RVD
Ok I just don’t think you have Cage’s moveset down AT ALL. Cage isn’t going to bust out a Texas Cloverleaf even if he’s displaying the same ring psychology he lacks a lot of the time. If you want to weaken the knees and do a submission hold chances are your not going to go for something complicated like the Cloverleaf. All that work Cage just did on his legs only for Van Dam to pop up and start flipping about. Heyman even mentions “guess those legs feel fine”. Horrible psychology in this match up my man. Man you really over did it this match. Time keeper bells and metal PIPES just to put Van Damn away? I really think this was over booked, over done, drawn out. Honestly man this match was the worst match of the night and overly just disappointing in every way. No match flow, no psychology, illogical movesets, too drawn out, and then a HUGE overbooked dusty finish. Just blah my man. Then Christian cuts a promo and THEN Tomko returns. Man sometimes you can really tell when someone is being OVER pushed. Like I told Hobo sometimes the simpler route is better. Ref Bump, Tomko interferes and the two celebrate over RVD’s fallen body. Bada Bing you got yourself a made promo about Christian literally hiring someone to GUARD his body…his bodyguard Tomko. Working in the injury, etc. Instead you just completely killed what momentum you did have going dead.
The Angle promo was decent you kinda captured Angle in a sense. Instead of saying “I understand what this important even signifies”. It would have been more Angle like to say “being an American Olympic Hero I know all too well what its like to be a part of American History. And since you’re not naming the show “ICW Olympic Hero Day” I guess this will due for now. That being said, second city saints. While you guys were being “PUNKS” and “STRAIGHTEDGE” Myself and the other members of Team Angle we were representing our country in the Olympics, we were bettering ourselves and our bodies in college sports.I don’t need to remind you that I won the Olympics with a broken freakin neck. So tonight Second City Saints you want to be Punks? We’ll we’ll freakin treat you guys like some Punks…..its True….its DAMN True”. Do you see how I made Angle make it about himself. Its not that Angle loves America its that he loves himself and that he’s somehow became an American Hero and how any chance he gets he’s going to compare himself to the greatest events in American History. Instead you got him talking up America and then talking down the Second City Saints without hardly any mention of how great he is and how he did all of these things for his country and since you didn’t you’re a loser. Am I making sense? I hope so. In short go read how Den and Tenn right the guy. He’s arrogant, yet snobbish, yet oblivious.
Man MORE promos. YOU guys are killing me with these promos on pay per view. Christian Promo after the match, then Team Angle, now a Ted promo. I think we’re three matches in and about ten promos in. Ted mis spoke “You really are lacking disrespect” what you meinant was “you really are lacking respect”. Or I would assume.
Second City Saints vs. Team Angle
Man this match really was pretty good. You had everything going for you until the end when you allowed a six man tag to get counted out. So far in this show you’ve had a career vs. career match where both men are retiring. You had a promised scramble match that was then turned into a three way dance. Then you had a Christian/RVD match that ended with a time keepers bell, a metal pipe and Tomko all leading to RVD’s downfall. Now you have a double count out in a six man tag. Do you see how your not really paying anything off. Nobody can lose cleanly it seems. Its like your afraid to pull the trigger on a loss. Like you want the heels to win but you don’t want to overload the show with heel wins. I gotta say man I’d rather have heels win every match than to get count outs and dusty finishes, and matches that mean nothing since both men are retiring. This is PAY PER VIEW this is where you blow things off, this is what your fans PAY to see. They wanna pay to see the old guy kick the bad guys ass. Even if the bad guys win the fans can accept that. What they can’t accept is paying 30 bucks to see a non finish. A double count out is a television finish to BUILD to the big match, its not the PAYOFF for the big match. Angle could have beaten Cabana, or Punk could have beaten Shelton or Haas. That’s whats so great about six man tags. Plus Angle is a chicken shit heel its nothing for him to come up with an excuse why they lost. “we’re real athletes, college bred wrestlers. There was no such thing as a six man tag when I was in college it was one on one. Man to man. When I won the Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck there was no such thing as a SIX man tag”. Do you see what I’m saying? Don’t be afraid to have a guy like Angle lose a crazy six man tag its not going to hurt his cred.
More backstage promos. I figured these were coming. The Hardyz one was ok, the Taz one was dead on. If your gonna do these things they need to be short, sweet and to the point. Anyway on with the show.
TLC Match
So you got all these promos by all these guys and you don’t have “That’s just not the coolest, and that’s just not the best…..thats JUSTIN CREDIBLE.” No Impact Players promo love? You see the match up was good and you waited for the big turn until AFTER the match. You gave the fans something and then you did your big turn. You held off until after the match and that’s what makes the difference sometimes. I even dug the Hardy attack. You see what happens when you have the PATIENCE to hold off on the big moments until its time
You don’t need a Second City Saints promo on the same show after their match up. Your giving away your follow up promo for your weekly t.v show on pay per view. There is no advantage to having this promo. Your trying to cram tons of story segments of the same story into the same show. Its called a slow burn my man. Leave them wanting MORE not wanting less…
No Rope Barbed Wire Match
I’m going to point this out to you like I did to Hobo. If Sabu and Homicide can withstand being thrown into barbed wire and still managed to win, why couldn’t they withstand nearly anything that a regular wrestler would throw at them. They can survive being in barbed wire having their skin ripped off but they can’t take a GTS? Or an Angle Slam? Or a Frog Splash? Do you see how the logic leaves when you do matches like this. If it’s a blood feud or something like that then that’s fine. Maybe this is that, but if it’s a regular event on every show or every pay per view its no longer going to fly “oh its another blood feud”. Everything you do, every match you write, every segment you script affects the rest of your show. It sounds corny but its true. You have to always be one step of the reader. If someone is reading this and they think “every show there is some blood fued being ended in ad death match or some kind of hardcore match”. Then the blood feuds such as the one for the championship lose prestige, hype and excitement as well. Ya know what I mean? Always gotta keep it fresh, keep it new. Its not easy to do that when you fall into patterns of certain guys always doing certain kinds of matches. Its nice to force these guys to solve their feuds in new ways. Its easy to say “ok Sabu has a problem he’ll end this feud with some crazy hardcore match”. Instead a guy like Homicide can say “I’ve been in the streets, I know what its look, hell I’ve SEEN what its like when these things get outta control. I’m not here to kill myself in a match wit you Sabu. Just like everybody else I’m trying to get OUT of the hood and the only way I’m doin that is by winning the World Title. Nobody wins championships after they’ve been through a barbed wire match, or an inferno match, or a tables match. Its not happenin. So Sabu if you wanna beat me, if you wanna be a “REAL” man. Then you’ll face me one on one. No tables, no gimmicks, just two men in the ring beaten tha HELL outta each other”. Something like that ya know mix it up, throw ‘em a swerve in a good way not in a russo way. That being said the match was what it was. Homicide did his thing and he’s stil champ.
The Orton Promo was decent but again man the time for all this hype is bye bye. You have atleast two or three segments inbetween matches constantly. Then you follow up the Hardy thing with Matt cutting another short promo. If you need to do something like this show Jeff going to the hospital in the ambulance. However that being said the announcers can say “we’ve just gotten word that Jeff Hardy is on his way to the hospital, we’re told Matt Hardy has been locked out of the hospital to ensure Jeff’s safety at this time”. That gets the job done and you don’t waste an entire segment on it. Its not like you need filler at this point. Again have faith your readers can catch the small things and most of the time not only will they catch them they will appreciate them. Then a Jericho promo and man the back end of this thing is really starting to drag. Again I feel like I’m repeating my last review but there are TOO many promos. Its pay per view guys. Do you know why they call it a promo? Of course you do its PROMOTION for the big event. You can’t promote the big event DURING the event. Its not possible and its pointless to give all this hype away when there is no need for it. We’re already hyped we opened the show or bought the pay per view. The only thing you need are some quick, fun, to the point skits in between matches to break up the whole thing. One promo or one skit in-between a match or two is fine. But man when your doing three and four promos and cutaways in-between matches it kills the momentum your matches are building up.
Jericho vs. Orton
The match had its good points. Flair cheating for Orton, etc. Then I see that oh so familier song playing. “Ref Bump, weapon to the head match is over ding ding ding” That’s nearly EXACTLY the same finish as the Cage/RVD match earlier in the show. With only eight matches on a pay per view its not hard to get the déjà vu feeling here. If anything else you could have gotten Flair get involved. Jericho locks Flair in the Walls of Jericho, the fans cheering and BOOM Randy with the RKO while Jericho is distracted. Orton wins, Jericho loses, Flair is put over as that dangerous manager you gotta look out for at all times and Orton is put over as a slimey heel who couldn’t beat Jericho fairly. Instead you went with the same finish as earlier and it comes across looking poorly.
ANOTHER Taz Promo. Then that’s followed by a Danielson promo. You realize their match is next right? There is NO need for all these promos my man. Seriously I don’t even want to COUNT the amount of promos you have a show that’s already been PROMOTED. I promise you have NEVER seen Rock vs. Austin and the two cut promos on each other before Backlash RIGHT before their match was set to go on. Go back and look at the good WWE pay per views, or a Tenn pay per view or a Den pay per view. They do promos and skits and cutaways too but their not the same group of guys getting three, four promos or camera shots in a night. There has got to be more than these 20something guys on your roster. Give some other guys you didn’t fit onto the ppv some face time ya know?
Taz vs. Danielson.
Points for using the Blue Thunder Bomb its one of my favorite moves in wrestling. And then we finish the show with Taz hitting Danielson with the chair to get a DQ finish. I understand the psychology behind it. However if your going with that finish with the main event lets look back. Six Man was a double count out, Orton/Jericho was a weapon shot for the win, same with Cage/RVD. So in FOUR of the EIGHT matches on this card we got either unclean or DQ finishes. The other two were hardcore match ups anyway so its tough for those NOT to be clean finishes. The cleanest finishes of the night were the tag team match and the three way dance. Other than that the show was marred with count outs, DQ’s, weapon shot wins and hardcore matches that can’t really have unclean finishes.
Overall
Let me just say the obvious here my friend. Joey Styles, Paul Heyman, Dreamer, Sandman, Taz, Impact Players, Barbed Wire Matches, Sabu, Tod Gordon, Rhino. Lets call a spade a spade here. This is ECW with a bigger budget. You know what the difference between this and Hobo was? Hobo had his own theme. It was dark, it was demented but I could picture a dimly lit arena with a rabid crowd. He had a lot of things I think needed work but he had good ideas and innovative ways of presenting his product. This felt like a bad episode of WCW Thunder with the run ins and dusty finishes combined with a of ECW guys doing their ECW thing.
Again I think you need to really get some of these characters down. Kurt Angle was close but off, Cage was nowhere near, RVD nowhere near. Shane McMahon didn’t get a chance to be Shane McMahon. Your commentary was on point, Daniels never got a chance to be Daniels. You let these guys talk forever in a lot of cases but Kurt didn’t remind us about his broken freaking neck, or being an Olympic gold medalist or his three I’s or anything of that nature. Danielson didn’t remind us about being a fallen angel, etc. Cage didn’t tell us about his peeps or how he rolls. CM Punk didn’t talk about his straight edge lifestyle, his addiction to competition. I mean you guys got me wanting to write some crazy CM Punk Promos. “Angle I told you before my only drug is competition. Tonight I went toe to toe with an Olympic Gold Medalist. After this, after the adrenaline was done pumping through my body, the roar of this crowd had settled and I was all alone in my locker room. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to feel a high. Kurt Angle this was the start, like it or not I proved I was on your level. As you put it I’m just a punk…..but this “punk” is better than you” Something like that.
Honestly at the end of the day get your show structure down. Pay Per Views are not bigger versions of RAW or Nitro. RAW and Nitro are commercials for a pay per view. Their two hour commercials to get people to BUY your pay per view. Once you get to the pay per view you’ve heard the trash talk, the hype, the promotion. That’s all been done and the pay per view is time to shut up and wrestle. Sure have your skits but make them short, make them to the point. You want Danielson and Taz to talk? You nailed it with Taz the first time and then decided to go back and have him talk even more. Less is more I’m telling you. A guy like Taz doesn’t talk for an hour.
Also think about your finishes. First thing you do is figure out your matches for the pay per view. Then figure out the winners, THEN figure out the finishes. The biggest piece of advice I can give is PROBE your product. Go over the pre show, the show, the finishes, the promos. Look for anything that’s out of place. Don’t do this after the show’s written and you have this huge block of text to fight through. Write a segment and then read it back to yourself. If it sounds right, if it sounds good go for it. I know first hand sometimes you get on a ‘roll’ and start pumping out segments like crazy and next thing you know you’ve written half the show. Problem is you can TELL you’ve written half the show in one sitting and that’s not always a good thing. Each segment gets its own identity just as if it were its own character. You don’t want people walking away feeling like they’ve just seen the same four segments 25 times that night and PAID for the honor of doing so.
Honestly man its not like what you did was BAD it was just mixed and jumbled and arranged strangely. Let me tell you the almighty way of Stenn’s scripting (joking of course). First I decide what my pay per view is going to be. I work backwards from the pay per view. I script the pay per view segment for segment. I decide who’s wrestling, their finish, and the order the matches are in. I don’t want my hardcore matches back to back, I don’t want my tag matches back to back. I don’t want a wild crazy fans exhausting, arena wide brawl before my big main event . You have to think of the big picture. Pacing, match structure, SHOW structure. You don’t want five hardcore matches on a show just like you don’t want five iron man matches on a show.
Another thing is SLOW BURN! There will be a show after this one, and a show after that one. You don’t need to cram seventy five promos from the same guys into the same show. At some point guys just need to shut up. Its like after a match and your tag team loses. Its ok that they lost but then they attack the winners right afterwards. Why, that’s jut getting their heat back. Wait until the next show, or the show after that. In wrestling its all about the chase, its all about leaving them wanting MORE. When you bombard someone with what fifteen or more skits on a show with eight matches. Your not leaving anyone with wanting more your leaving them growing sick of some of your major players. You don’t want anyone to ever say Taz wouldn’t shut the fuck up, or their sick of hearing from the Second City Saints or that the Hardyz wouldn’t get off their damn television. Consider each space ad time in your super bowl. Its valuable face time especially on pay per view when everyone is watching/reading. Use that space to not only maintain star power for your current stars but to create new ones. Another thing is story interaction. Don’t be afraid to combine segments. Your in the middle of a promo with someone and right afterwards Taz walks in the building. It’s the same amount but it FEELS less because its in one promo instead of “CUTTTING AWAY”. I hope I’m making valuable points I could go on all day about things to improve your show but I fear this review is getting a bit on the long side.
Its not that the show was bad. Physically it was fine, guys wrestled, some guys won….some guys DQ’d. Its just in HOW you present it to us that needs the overhaul. Like I told Heb you guys got these great graphics for your pre games but then comes the actual shows and its walls and walls and walls of text. Break it up find some pictures of these guys and throw them in a photobucket account. Once you do that its just copy and paste the link easy as 1 2 4 I mean 3.
My final point and then this review is done. Find your own voice. I know you’re a huge fan of Hobo and understandably so. In a lot of ways he’s brought you in the game and been there to give sound advice when it was needed. That being said you have no idea how many hours I spent in multi man chat rooms with the likes of Tenn, POW, Jimberg, Myth, Matchmaker, Den, Jay, Tommy etc. This guys all had running starts on me and I constantly called upon them for advice or I would just attempt to “reimagine” their style. To me that’s fine, if you want to produce a product similar to Hobo’s that’s understandable. That being said I needed something to set you apart. From the constant promos on the pay per view, to the over exposure of your big stars, to the walls of text to the way your pregame was set up, to your huge hardcore spots. A lot of this I could see Hobo in. Like I said Hobo has found a voice and it lays on the darker side of things. Like his product or not Hobo knows his theme and he sticks to it. Take the things you enjoy from Hobo . The crazy characters, the hardcore matches, the insane spots, the fast paced action. Take these things and throw them into your own formula. As it stands right now it feels like Vince Russo and Hobo became best friends and did their best to imitate an old 1999 episode of WCW Thursday Thunder.
That being said your better than a lot of what I see on here. There is potential to do better so don’t think I’m discouraging you. I’m doing the opposite. I’m saying read your shows, try and see what I see or what others see and then don’t do what I tell you to do. However take the advice….which is what this was just friendly, honest, unbiased advice. Take it from me and others and inject that into your own formula and create something that is unique to you. I’m more than open to review your next show if you wish. I’d say I’m looking forward to see where some of your stories go but you spent so much time after the fact on so many of these stories that it feels like I’ve already see the pay per view and the next nights shows with the amount of after the fact attacks, and post match promos and what not. If you ever have any questions or advice hit me up I’m available to anyone that wants sound honest advice. Take care and I hope your next show can get done in a timely manner…..oh yeah and if you don’t get a chance for me to review another show of yours before the playoffs are over I hope the Cards kick the Yanks arses in the series
The hype is very similar to Hobo’s right down to the graphics. I’m not sure if you do his graphics, he does your graphics, you each do your own graphics, or some un named silent partner does both of your graphics. Pretty good graphics here, I can kinda see the D Dayish background. Ok I’m boring myself lets get on with the show.
Pretty good intro. Parts of it were long winded or not worded the best they could be. One part is “the dark clouds prevent any of the suns passing through”. When you could have said “clouds darker than death itself start to roll into the tranquil day. As the ominious dark clouds roll forward they swallow up the sunlight and seemingly any life along with it”. Something that is better than “prevents any sun from passing through”. I’m not quite sure how to explain it better. You do a good job in some parts being very descriptive and then in others you seem to trip over your words. That being the case good effort and just work on making sure it sounds natural and not forced ya know?
Ok on with the show. Also I’m not sure you need TWO opening video packages. We just got the huge D Day one and now we got a “Gods gonna cut you down” one. Which don’t get me wrong anytime I get to read some Cash lyrics is a good time but the D Day video package more than supplied the point.
The opening bit was ok but honestly after reading Hobos review he did the exact same thing. I don’t know if you ripped the idea from him but its such an exact idea it doesn’t come across smelling so fresh when someone else does it ya know? Also instead of saying 3/8 matches are title matches couldn’t you have said ‘and we have THREE championships, on the line, LIVE on pay per view”. I mean 3/8 what number is that? Its not like we don’t already know there is eight matches going on tonight. One thing I’m noticing early on in your writing is you repeat things to the reader a lot. One thing I’ve learned is you have to have faith in the reader to pick up on your writing. If they can’t figure out there is eight matches tonight by you telling them that in the opening monologue how do you expect them to pick up on the tiny subtleties of your story telling?
You go down EVERY match on the card in full detail. Again this is what your preshow is for. Your opening monologue needs to be short, sweet, fun, entertaining and to the point. A fun thing for pay per views is their big, their unique, their unpredictable. “Tommy Dreamer vs. The Sandman, Whats gonna happen when two extreme legends go one on one in front of this Philadelphia crowd for the VERY last time?” Which leads me to my next point. What in the world is the point in saying it’s a career vs. career match if BOTH men are retiring after the match?
Dreamer vs. Sandman
I have to say the match was everything you would expect out of these two. It had all the classic elements. That being said it felt like an exhibition match. There was no blood feud, there was no reward for the other. There wasn’t even the bragging rights of saying you retired the other one since they BOTH said before the match even started before the night began it was their last match. To me that’s very anti climatic. You did right by the match I’m not saying that, I’m just saying a career vs. career match is better suited when one of them actually wants to keep wrestling. What I would have done is have Dreamer win the match and then come out next week and talk about how he thought retiring The Sandman would give his career that boost of energy it needed. He thought putting his own career on the line last week would have motivated him, it would have pushed him to be as hungry as he was in 95 when they two first crossed paths. He thought throwing himself head on with his past like that would create conflict in his life, it would renew him as a man. Instead listening to that crowd, listening to the ovation they gave both of them. Staring back at Sandman while Joey and Paul called the match…..well that’s when it hit him he wasn’t looking for a shot in the arm from his past……deep down he just wanted his career to come full circle. Something of that nature you know. So both men retire but at the time you don’t know that’s gonna go down so you as a fan have something to kind of fight with yourself about. When two fan favorites are going at it you have to say “I want him to win, no I want him to win.”
Again something Hobo influenced is there is no breaks, no graphics, nothing to tell me a new segment is up. I was reading about Dreamer and Sandman and then Christian is on my “screen”. I said all of this in the Hobo review but I’m gonna take a guess that with your pre show hype, your loved of barbed wire matches, and your show structuring and presentation that you have kind of came up in the way of the Hobo. Nothing wrong with that if you read my shows they have a huge Tenn/POW feel to them with a dash of Den at times. Christian could have been more cocky could have been “more peeps, that’s how I roll, Captain Charismaish”. It wasn’t bad it just lacked the arrogance, the cockyness, the I’m way fucking cooler than you that Christian gives off. He was more threatening than cool. That would be ok if Christian were the face. You know the injured face coming back and promising “there will be blood”. But he’s the heel so your cutting the promo as if he’s a face returning from a long injury but he’s a HEEL returning from an injury so it has to go differently. “I sat at home with my gorgeous wife. I don’t even know why I’m telling you people this since the only time you get close to a gorgeous women is when you use your free hand to turn the magazine page. I sat at home for months watching Rob Van Dam with his stupid finger point, and his marijuana innuendo and it made me realize some things. You see no matter how much better than Rob Van Dam I am….and believe me I am better. No matter how much COOLER than Rob Van Damn I am…..” something like that I could go on but you get the point. There was no brashness to Captain Charisma he came across as sort of generic.
I was digging this Rebellion tag team deal and then this mystery guy walks in and says “your not ready to compete yet” and they say “ok”. Also ICW has Wrestlemania as their big show of the year? Furthermore I think your missing out on having a good babyface, southern boys tag team by having these guys follow this mystery cat around but I’m usually not one to comment on storylines until I see where their going for a few shows. That being said Joey Styles, Paul Heyman, Dreamer, Taz, Sandman, RVD and Todd Gordon as commish…….hmmm maybe you got the wrong vowel in “I”CW?
Helms vs. Rey vs. Styles
Here Helms is the “Sensation” of Innovation but in your hype I’m almost sure you called him the “Innovator of Violence”. I’m going to check now. Yes you did you called him the innovator of violence. I know it seems like no big deal but at the end of the day it comes down to attention to detail. I would assume you both previewed and then posted your hype for this show and if your anything like me you’ve traveled back around to your show’s page a time or two to look at presentation. Letting something like that slip through the cracks is minor but it’s the minor things that bring someone from really being part of your show to just kinda going through the motions. The more things you can do to bring someone in the more minor things I mean the more genuine it feels. You would never see a mistake like that in a piece of Den hype and there is good reason for that. The man crawls over his product in search of mistakes. Tenn is the same way. That’s what separates good from great sometimes the ability to crawl over your own work in search of the tiniest mistakes or flaws. That being said the match itself was good and the right guy went over. I figured you’d go for indy markout #349 and have AJ win. Kudos to you fine sir.
Ok Rob Van Dam doesn’t talk NEAR that much. I have never heard a Rob Van Dam promo that long. Things like “saying that bull”. That’s not Rob Van Dam. The promo shouldn’t even been scheduled. Someone should have found RVD in the back meditating or doing whatever the hell he does. Something like
“Rob Van Dam any comments on Christian’s words to you earlier in the night”
Rob: Wha? You mean that dude made it to the building tonight? I thought his shoulder might prevent him from you know driving…..and then I thought well maybe he’ll get a driver, but then I figured if even the dude did get a driver he’d start bitching and moaning and complaining and the driver would wind up leaving him on the side of the road somewhere…..so uh yeah I guess I actually didn’t hear what he had to say….
You know something along those lines. Where he just plays it cool like he’s not even worried or concerned with Christian Cage. Instead you got him verbally waxing poetically about Christian Cage. It doesn’t seem like the feud is THAT crazy yet that he needs to completely break his usual m.o just to go at Cage verbally….
Cage vs. RVD
Ok I just don’t think you have Cage’s moveset down AT ALL. Cage isn’t going to bust out a Texas Cloverleaf even if he’s displaying the same ring psychology he lacks a lot of the time. If you want to weaken the knees and do a submission hold chances are your not going to go for something complicated like the Cloverleaf. All that work Cage just did on his legs only for Van Dam to pop up and start flipping about. Heyman even mentions “guess those legs feel fine”. Horrible psychology in this match up my man. Man you really over did it this match. Time keeper bells and metal PIPES just to put Van Damn away? I really think this was over booked, over done, drawn out. Honestly man this match was the worst match of the night and overly just disappointing in every way. No match flow, no psychology, illogical movesets, too drawn out, and then a HUGE overbooked dusty finish. Just blah my man. Then Christian cuts a promo and THEN Tomko returns. Man sometimes you can really tell when someone is being OVER pushed. Like I told Hobo sometimes the simpler route is better. Ref Bump, Tomko interferes and the two celebrate over RVD’s fallen body. Bada Bing you got yourself a made promo about Christian literally hiring someone to GUARD his body…his bodyguard Tomko. Working in the injury, etc. Instead you just completely killed what momentum you did have going dead.
The Angle promo was decent you kinda captured Angle in a sense. Instead of saying “I understand what this important even signifies”. It would have been more Angle like to say “being an American Olympic Hero I know all too well what its like to be a part of American History. And since you’re not naming the show “ICW Olympic Hero Day” I guess this will due for now. That being said, second city saints. While you guys were being “PUNKS” and “STRAIGHTEDGE” Myself and the other members of Team Angle we were representing our country in the Olympics, we were bettering ourselves and our bodies in college sports.I don’t need to remind you that I won the Olympics with a broken freakin neck. So tonight Second City Saints you want to be Punks? We’ll we’ll freakin treat you guys like some Punks…..its True….its DAMN True”. Do you see how I made Angle make it about himself. Its not that Angle loves America its that he loves himself and that he’s somehow became an American Hero and how any chance he gets he’s going to compare himself to the greatest events in American History. Instead you got him talking up America and then talking down the Second City Saints without hardly any mention of how great he is and how he did all of these things for his country and since you didn’t you’re a loser. Am I making sense? I hope so. In short go read how Den and Tenn right the guy. He’s arrogant, yet snobbish, yet oblivious.
Man MORE promos. YOU guys are killing me with these promos on pay per view. Christian Promo after the match, then Team Angle, now a Ted promo. I think we’re three matches in and about ten promos in. Ted mis spoke “You really are lacking disrespect” what you meinant was “you really are lacking respect”. Or I would assume.
Second City Saints vs. Team Angle
Man this match really was pretty good. You had everything going for you until the end when you allowed a six man tag to get counted out. So far in this show you’ve had a career vs. career match where both men are retiring. You had a promised scramble match that was then turned into a three way dance. Then you had a Christian/RVD match that ended with a time keepers bell, a metal pipe and Tomko all leading to RVD’s downfall. Now you have a double count out in a six man tag. Do you see how your not really paying anything off. Nobody can lose cleanly it seems. Its like your afraid to pull the trigger on a loss. Like you want the heels to win but you don’t want to overload the show with heel wins. I gotta say man I’d rather have heels win every match than to get count outs and dusty finishes, and matches that mean nothing since both men are retiring. This is PAY PER VIEW this is where you blow things off, this is what your fans PAY to see. They wanna pay to see the old guy kick the bad guys ass. Even if the bad guys win the fans can accept that. What they can’t accept is paying 30 bucks to see a non finish. A double count out is a television finish to BUILD to the big match, its not the PAYOFF for the big match. Angle could have beaten Cabana, or Punk could have beaten Shelton or Haas. That’s whats so great about six man tags. Plus Angle is a chicken shit heel its nothing for him to come up with an excuse why they lost. “we’re real athletes, college bred wrestlers. There was no such thing as a six man tag when I was in college it was one on one. Man to man. When I won the Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck there was no such thing as a SIX man tag”. Do you see what I’m saying? Don’t be afraid to have a guy like Angle lose a crazy six man tag its not going to hurt his cred.
More backstage promos. I figured these were coming. The Hardyz one was ok, the Taz one was dead on. If your gonna do these things they need to be short, sweet and to the point. Anyway on with the show.
TLC Match
So you got all these promos by all these guys and you don’t have “That’s just not the coolest, and that’s just not the best…..thats JUSTIN CREDIBLE.” No Impact Players promo love? You see the match up was good and you waited for the big turn until AFTER the match. You gave the fans something and then you did your big turn. You held off until after the match and that’s what makes the difference sometimes. I even dug the Hardy attack. You see what happens when you have the PATIENCE to hold off on the big moments until its time
You don’t need a Second City Saints promo on the same show after their match up. Your giving away your follow up promo for your weekly t.v show on pay per view. There is no advantage to having this promo. Your trying to cram tons of story segments of the same story into the same show. Its called a slow burn my man. Leave them wanting MORE not wanting less…
No Rope Barbed Wire Match
I’m going to point this out to you like I did to Hobo. If Sabu and Homicide can withstand being thrown into barbed wire and still managed to win, why couldn’t they withstand nearly anything that a regular wrestler would throw at them. They can survive being in barbed wire having their skin ripped off but they can’t take a GTS? Or an Angle Slam? Or a Frog Splash? Do you see how the logic leaves when you do matches like this. If it’s a blood feud or something like that then that’s fine. Maybe this is that, but if it’s a regular event on every show or every pay per view its no longer going to fly “oh its another blood feud”. Everything you do, every match you write, every segment you script affects the rest of your show. It sounds corny but its true. You have to always be one step of the reader. If someone is reading this and they think “every show there is some blood fued being ended in ad death match or some kind of hardcore match”. Then the blood feuds such as the one for the championship lose prestige, hype and excitement as well. Ya know what I mean? Always gotta keep it fresh, keep it new. Its not easy to do that when you fall into patterns of certain guys always doing certain kinds of matches. Its nice to force these guys to solve their feuds in new ways. Its easy to say “ok Sabu has a problem he’ll end this feud with some crazy hardcore match”. Instead a guy like Homicide can say “I’ve been in the streets, I know what its look, hell I’ve SEEN what its like when these things get outta control. I’m not here to kill myself in a match wit you Sabu. Just like everybody else I’m trying to get OUT of the hood and the only way I’m doin that is by winning the World Title. Nobody wins championships after they’ve been through a barbed wire match, or an inferno match, or a tables match. Its not happenin. So Sabu if you wanna beat me, if you wanna be a “REAL” man. Then you’ll face me one on one. No tables, no gimmicks, just two men in the ring beaten tha HELL outta each other”. Something like that ya know mix it up, throw ‘em a swerve in a good way not in a russo way. That being said the match was what it was. Homicide did his thing and he’s stil champ.
The Orton Promo was decent but again man the time for all this hype is bye bye. You have atleast two or three segments inbetween matches constantly. Then you follow up the Hardy thing with Matt cutting another short promo. If you need to do something like this show Jeff going to the hospital in the ambulance. However that being said the announcers can say “we’ve just gotten word that Jeff Hardy is on his way to the hospital, we’re told Matt Hardy has been locked out of the hospital to ensure Jeff’s safety at this time”. That gets the job done and you don’t waste an entire segment on it. Its not like you need filler at this point. Again have faith your readers can catch the small things and most of the time not only will they catch them they will appreciate them. Then a Jericho promo and man the back end of this thing is really starting to drag. Again I feel like I’m repeating my last review but there are TOO many promos. Its pay per view guys. Do you know why they call it a promo? Of course you do its PROMOTION for the big event. You can’t promote the big event DURING the event. Its not possible and its pointless to give all this hype away when there is no need for it. We’re already hyped we opened the show or bought the pay per view. The only thing you need are some quick, fun, to the point skits in between matches to break up the whole thing. One promo or one skit in-between a match or two is fine. But man when your doing three and four promos and cutaways in-between matches it kills the momentum your matches are building up.
Jericho vs. Orton
The match had its good points. Flair cheating for Orton, etc. Then I see that oh so familier song playing. “Ref Bump, weapon to the head match is over ding ding ding” That’s nearly EXACTLY the same finish as the Cage/RVD match earlier in the show. With only eight matches on a pay per view its not hard to get the déjà vu feeling here. If anything else you could have gotten Flair get involved. Jericho locks Flair in the Walls of Jericho, the fans cheering and BOOM Randy with the RKO while Jericho is distracted. Orton wins, Jericho loses, Flair is put over as that dangerous manager you gotta look out for at all times and Orton is put over as a slimey heel who couldn’t beat Jericho fairly. Instead you went with the same finish as earlier and it comes across looking poorly.
ANOTHER Taz Promo. Then that’s followed by a Danielson promo. You realize their match is next right? There is NO need for all these promos my man. Seriously I don’t even want to COUNT the amount of promos you have a show that’s already been PROMOTED. I promise you have NEVER seen Rock vs. Austin and the two cut promos on each other before Backlash RIGHT before their match was set to go on. Go back and look at the good WWE pay per views, or a Tenn pay per view or a Den pay per view. They do promos and skits and cutaways too but their not the same group of guys getting three, four promos or camera shots in a night. There has got to be more than these 20something guys on your roster. Give some other guys you didn’t fit onto the ppv some face time ya know?
Taz vs. Danielson.
Points for using the Blue Thunder Bomb its one of my favorite moves in wrestling. And then we finish the show with Taz hitting Danielson with the chair to get a DQ finish. I understand the psychology behind it. However if your going with that finish with the main event lets look back. Six Man was a double count out, Orton/Jericho was a weapon shot for the win, same with Cage/RVD. So in FOUR of the EIGHT matches on this card we got either unclean or DQ finishes. The other two were hardcore match ups anyway so its tough for those NOT to be clean finishes. The cleanest finishes of the night were the tag team match and the three way dance. Other than that the show was marred with count outs, DQ’s, weapon shot wins and hardcore matches that can’t really have unclean finishes.
Overall
Let me just say the obvious here my friend. Joey Styles, Paul Heyman, Dreamer, Sandman, Taz, Impact Players, Barbed Wire Matches, Sabu, Tod Gordon, Rhino. Lets call a spade a spade here. This is ECW with a bigger budget. You know what the difference between this and Hobo was? Hobo had his own theme. It was dark, it was demented but I could picture a dimly lit arena with a rabid crowd. He had a lot of things I think needed work but he had good ideas and innovative ways of presenting his product. This felt like a bad episode of WCW Thunder with the run ins and dusty finishes combined with a of ECW guys doing their ECW thing.
Again I think you need to really get some of these characters down. Kurt Angle was close but off, Cage was nowhere near, RVD nowhere near. Shane McMahon didn’t get a chance to be Shane McMahon. Your commentary was on point, Daniels never got a chance to be Daniels. You let these guys talk forever in a lot of cases but Kurt didn’t remind us about his broken freaking neck, or being an Olympic gold medalist or his three I’s or anything of that nature. Danielson didn’t remind us about being a fallen angel, etc. Cage didn’t tell us about his peeps or how he rolls. CM Punk didn’t talk about his straight edge lifestyle, his addiction to competition. I mean you guys got me wanting to write some crazy CM Punk Promos. “Angle I told you before my only drug is competition. Tonight I went toe to toe with an Olympic Gold Medalist. After this, after the adrenaline was done pumping through my body, the roar of this crowd had settled and I was all alone in my locker room. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to feel a high. Kurt Angle this was the start, like it or not I proved I was on your level. As you put it I’m just a punk…..but this “punk” is better than you” Something like that.
Honestly at the end of the day get your show structure down. Pay Per Views are not bigger versions of RAW or Nitro. RAW and Nitro are commercials for a pay per view. Their two hour commercials to get people to BUY your pay per view. Once you get to the pay per view you’ve heard the trash talk, the hype, the promotion. That’s all been done and the pay per view is time to shut up and wrestle. Sure have your skits but make them short, make them to the point. You want Danielson and Taz to talk? You nailed it with Taz the first time and then decided to go back and have him talk even more. Less is more I’m telling you. A guy like Taz doesn’t talk for an hour.
Also think about your finishes. First thing you do is figure out your matches for the pay per view. Then figure out the winners, THEN figure out the finishes. The biggest piece of advice I can give is PROBE your product. Go over the pre show, the show, the finishes, the promos. Look for anything that’s out of place. Don’t do this after the show’s written and you have this huge block of text to fight through. Write a segment and then read it back to yourself. If it sounds right, if it sounds good go for it. I know first hand sometimes you get on a ‘roll’ and start pumping out segments like crazy and next thing you know you’ve written half the show. Problem is you can TELL you’ve written half the show in one sitting and that’s not always a good thing. Each segment gets its own identity just as if it were its own character. You don’t want people walking away feeling like they’ve just seen the same four segments 25 times that night and PAID for the honor of doing so.
Honestly man its not like what you did was BAD it was just mixed and jumbled and arranged strangely. Let me tell you the almighty way of Stenn’s scripting (joking of course). First I decide what my pay per view is going to be. I work backwards from the pay per view. I script the pay per view segment for segment. I decide who’s wrestling, their finish, and the order the matches are in. I don’t want my hardcore matches back to back, I don’t want my tag matches back to back. I don’t want a wild crazy fans exhausting, arena wide brawl before my big main event . You have to think of the big picture. Pacing, match structure, SHOW structure. You don’t want five hardcore matches on a show just like you don’t want five iron man matches on a show.
Another thing is SLOW BURN! There will be a show after this one, and a show after that one. You don’t need to cram seventy five promos from the same guys into the same show. At some point guys just need to shut up. Its like after a match and your tag team loses. Its ok that they lost but then they attack the winners right afterwards. Why, that’s jut getting their heat back. Wait until the next show, or the show after that. In wrestling its all about the chase, its all about leaving them wanting MORE. When you bombard someone with what fifteen or more skits on a show with eight matches. Your not leaving anyone with wanting more your leaving them growing sick of some of your major players. You don’t want anyone to ever say Taz wouldn’t shut the fuck up, or their sick of hearing from the Second City Saints or that the Hardyz wouldn’t get off their damn television. Consider each space ad time in your super bowl. Its valuable face time especially on pay per view when everyone is watching/reading. Use that space to not only maintain star power for your current stars but to create new ones. Another thing is story interaction. Don’t be afraid to combine segments. Your in the middle of a promo with someone and right afterwards Taz walks in the building. It’s the same amount but it FEELS less because its in one promo instead of “CUTTTING AWAY”. I hope I’m making valuable points I could go on all day about things to improve your show but I fear this review is getting a bit on the long side.
Its not that the show was bad. Physically it was fine, guys wrestled, some guys won….some guys DQ’d. Its just in HOW you present it to us that needs the overhaul. Like I told Heb you guys got these great graphics for your pre games but then comes the actual shows and its walls and walls and walls of text. Break it up find some pictures of these guys and throw them in a photobucket account. Once you do that its just copy and paste the link easy as 1 2 4 I mean 3.
My final point and then this review is done. Find your own voice. I know you’re a huge fan of Hobo and understandably so. In a lot of ways he’s brought you in the game and been there to give sound advice when it was needed. That being said you have no idea how many hours I spent in multi man chat rooms with the likes of Tenn, POW, Jimberg, Myth, Matchmaker, Den, Jay, Tommy etc. This guys all had running starts on me and I constantly called upon them for advice or I would just attempt to “reimagine” their style. To me that’s fine, if you want to produce a product similar to Hobo’s that’s understandable. That being said I needed something to set you apart. From the constant promos on the pay per view, to the over exposure of your big stars, to the walls of text to the way your pregame was set up, to your huge hardcore spots. A lot of this I could see Hobo in. Like I said Hobo has found a voice and it lays on the darker side of things. Like his product or not Hobo knows his theme and he sticks to it. Take the things you enjoy from Hobo . The crazy characters, the hardcore matches, the insane spots, the fast paced action. Take these things and throw them into your own formula. As it stands right now it feels like Vince Russo and Hobo became best friends and did their best to imitate an old 1999 episode of WCW Thursday Thunder.
That being said your better than a lot of what I see on here. There is potential to do better so don’t think I’m discouraging you. I’m doing the opposite. I’m saying read your shows, try and see what I see or what others see and then don’t do what I tell you to do. However take the advice….which is what this was just friendly, honest, unbiased advice. Take it from me and others and inject that into your own formula and create something that is unique to you. I’m more than open to review your next show if you wish. I’d say I’m looking forward to see where some of your stories go but you spent so much time after the fact on so many of these stories that it feels like I’ve already see the pay per view and the next nights shows with the amount of after the fact attacks, and post match promos and what not. If you ever have any questions or advice hit me up I’m available to anyone that wants sound honest advice. Take care and I hope your next show can get done in a timely manner…..oh yeah and if you don’t get a chance for me to review another show of yours before the playoffs are over I hope the Cards kick the Yanks arses in the series