Post by stennick on Sept 5, 2009 2:12:00 GMT -5
First of all no I'm not dead, my wife has just been making with the sex a lot more so I don't have time for you losers....I mean uh man works been hell guys I sure do miss it here 
I keed I keed. Ok enough of that onto the review. Soon I hope to show you guys that I can walk the walk so to speak but for now I'm going to talk the talk and make with the detailed reviews.
Alright Heb we’ve spent many of nights going over things trying to help you get your first “full outing” as I would call it as solid as possible. I’ve seen bits and pieces and I like what I’ve seen however I have not seen the show since you left some of it on the “cutting room floor”. So lets see what you came up with shall we?
Have you the ECW opening down to a tee. With ECW the crowd is a character as well. Just like Family Guy and their cut away scenes ECW has their verbal crowd. You did them justice without going OVERboard ya know. Or so far you haven’t. That being said I won’t pull no punches my good friend and by doing that I gotta admit I didn’t like Gertners limerick or whatever its called. Gertner is at his best when its kinda on the short side I feel. Such as Joel “A tisket…a tasket….let me put my BISCUIT in your basket” Gertner. (that’s an actual Gertner limerick from I believe ECW on TNN). So in short it was long, it was drawn out, part of it made little sense and I feel like joy juice although not bad was just kinda blah for me. Then we get into Heyman and you start him off real well and then again he falls flat and the “extreme” part of Heyman kinda dies down and he starts talking well like an every day boss. Then Foley with the “I’d love to accept” or whatever. Maybe a cheap pop, maybe a dig at Paul for the bounced checks. Its Mick he’s gonna do something more than “I accept”. I’m not saying its bad because its not and getting the characters down will take more than one show. Its just advice my man. Overall I got it, main event at ppv, main event tonight, Foley’s commish, Joel is a perv, the crowd is rabid, and ECW is EXTREME! So a good opener, but honestly it died down the more into it you got. Started out hot, ended luke warm ya dig?
Cyrus picked things up again. You seem to have a good grasp on Styles and a pretty good grasp on Joel as a color guy
Guido vs. Tajiri
I don’t now how many full matches you’ve written but this has got to be one of your firsts and its really good man. More of this stuff and you’ll be on the right track for sure. I liked it a lot. Then Sinister Minister comes out and I gotta admit I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. Guido injuring someone? Costing them something? I would imagine they would be referrering to 2001. Wrestling fans, even in ECW would be hard pressed to remember a feud between a mid card tag team or whatever they were that happened four and a half years ago. I’m not saying don’t bring up the past. But don’t talk about it in detail like it happened last week. Something along the lines of “we’ve confronted you and your blasphemous group before and it seems like everytime you people resort to trying to injur these men I care about” or whatever just you know generally reference it but don’t say “on three of those seven occasions we were injured, etc.” am I being clear enough here?
The Doring/Roadkill Promo
You remember how I just got done saying how its good to reference the past as long as it doesn’t get TOO detailed. This was the perfect amount of detail. He wasn’t saying too much, he gave us the information on how they won the titles, and held onto them at the next ppv. He gave us a story, and I felt like it flowed really well. So nothing blowing away charisma wise but it made you feel the guys pain. I like the chickens, champions, nobodies line nicely done good sir.
Sabu vs. JT Smith
I like Sabu vs. Raven its never been done before. This match is obviously just a chance for Sabu to kill someone and I’m ok with that. Fulfills the homicidal part of his nickname. The Raven promo again was a bit flat. The cheap heat and what not. What makes Raven so good is his ability to speak on such a high level clearly above what you would expect from an extreme wrestling champion, he teaches lessons on morality, loyalty, respect all the while adhering to NONE of these qualities which in my opinion makes him even better. I felt like you kinda went for too much cheap heat from Raven. In a case like that instead of saying “shut up people your all just blah blah blah” I would have went for “you see Sabu you might not be from this country, but the people here, they don’t cheer you because of the jaw dropping moves you do. They don’t cheer you for the extreme amounts of punishment your body is capable of withstanding in here every night. They cheer you because frankly you’re the lowest form of entertainment there is. These people cheer you because the type of people this place attracts are the LOWEST people. The dropouts, the drug addicts, the government dependants. Their idea of a good time isn’t taking in a show on Broadway, or taking a date to the movies….if they had dates. Its paying money to come into a dingy, worn down bingo hall and watch two men spill their blood on a canvas. You seem all to eager to quench their thirst for blood Sabu. At the pay per view they’ll get half of what they want. They’ll get a blood bath, the problem is its only going to be YOUR blood that’s spilled. These people are addicted to the blood Sabu and at the pay per view it will be YOUR blood that gives these blood junkies their high….quote the Raven Nevermore” You see how he’s working in what low lifes they are in direct correlation to a way it would pertain to his problems with Sabu? That’s how I’d do it. It doesn’t feel like cheap heat if he weaves it in and out like that. Its your show but that’s just my advice.
Impact Players. There was a time when these guys were my favorite tag team. AS you can tell by my series I love me some Lance Storm. Anyway I like what you did here. Their promo was solid, you didn’t do too much with it or expand on it. Short, sweet and to the point I like it a lot. The Storm match was good too btw, again these matches aren’t mean to be amazing and I like that. They feel like t.v matches a “preview” of what these guys can do in a lot of ways.
You Foley is just flat man. You need more jokes, you need more wise cracks, you need more cheap pops. Your getting random executive #33 in here man. You need to spice Foley up. Go back and watch some Mankind and Especially commish Foley shit. He’s gonna be a big part of your shows and needs a facelift.
Eddie Promo was good man. My only thing isn’t that It was too ethinic. You just stuck with the word “holmes” too much. Mix in some essa’s, and voto’s. You did fine other than that.
The Simon and Swinger stuff was ok, honestly its getting late and I skimmed that and the Dudleyz match. There is too much title tournament and six ways stuff going. I would have brought back the World Title, then I would have brought back the tag titles in maybe a crazy ECW four way. Then I would have brought back the T.V Title with a tournament. Your throwing these tournaments and six ways out there all at once its too much to keep track of it all ya know? That being said your Rhino promo was GREAT except for one line….I’m nitpicking but Rhino wouldn’t say “rendered you useless”. “Knocked your ass out” or whatever would have been better
The Corino promo was good as well. The only thing is throughout the whole show its “bleep this and bleep that”. It wasn’t that way on TNN. In reality Spike isn’t going to put someone on the air that has a thousand bleeps in it. A guy like Rhino that worked well for. Except it was done by Corino, it was done by a few more people in the show as well it just becomes old hat. Its more effective lie actual cussing if its used for one or two guys and its used sparingly enough to make an impact. I like that you bleeped the cuss words but in reality its network t.v and I know your trying to be EXTREME and that’s fine but every other guy doing it just kinda doesn’t work. That being said Corino’s little hype segment was pretty good.
The Main Event. GREAT brawling, you kept track of all of these guys very well. You didn’t lose yourself in the task that is writing this many guys brawling in a ring. You stayed true to each guys style. Easily your best written match and your best match period of the night. Very well done and I enjoyed the brawl at the end.
OVERALL
Overall not bad for your first outing. Again its late and I’ve already said segment by segment what was good and bad in those segments so let me leave you with these points. Get the characters down better. There is a website slashwrestling.com it was CRZ from the WRestleline crew of Keith, CRZ, the Online Onslaught guy. You might be too young to remember but SOMEONE reading this tell me you know about Wrestleline, and CRZ and Keith and OO etc.? Anyway my point being is that on that site the guy would write WORD for WORD what was happening on RAW and Nitro. It reads a bit like a fantasy booking only it was a recap of what was happening. He has promos word for word on there. Go in there and read how he writes these guys. Its how they actually talk because he was writing what they were actually saying on RAW. I know some of these guys aren’t RAW guys but for Foley, Eddie and some others that’s going to be your best bet. That or breaking out some youtube Eddie and Foley promos. Basically work on the guys characters like Raven, like Foley, Gertner’s limericks could use some work. Heyman could use some work. Check out actual promos of these guys. I mean watch five or ten of them. Pick up on their characterizations, their mannerisms.
For instance if you notice in my RCW series well you don’t. But Ressurection Championship Wrestling my developmental fed for WCW has Heyman as the head. On SD he would always say “Paul Heyman’s Smackdown” well in this he always says “Paul Heyman’s RCW. Heyman is a ranter, get him off on a tangent about how shitty someone is.
Don’t go “I don’t know you guys remember” go “I haven’t forgotten and I know you people have forgotten how that country music station treated us. They used us like we were one of the boys in the backs ring rat. When you were done with us you left us to fail, you left me to explain to a room full of men that they didn’t have a JOB anymore. They couldn’t feed their kids, they couldn’t make their car payments. That everything I had been telling them for the last TEN years was GONE, was DONE, was OVER. Well let me just say that Paul Heyman…no no no E…..C……W!!!!! Is BACK, we’re on the same number station on your cable box….but the guys that put ECW out of business are now out of business yourselves and E….C….W is back. We’re not watered down, we haven’t sold out, we’re more motivated than ever, we’re bigger than ever, and we’re more EXXXXXTREME than EVER!”.
Do you see the difference in my promo for Heyman and yours? Again its not great but do you see the passion, the attitude, the story telling? Your promo lacked that it was too polite, too nice. Paul Heyman is the renegade owner in charge of the renegade extreme promotion. Heyman in ECW was him against the world, ECW against the world. Everyone is out to see them fail, so WRITE them like everyone is out to get them.
My other word of advice is again less bleeps. One, two, three a show that’s fine. One guy gets bleeped a whole bunch that’s fine. But all over the show like that and it being on a national network….no pun intended wouldn’t be realistic. Again GOOD show Heb. Don’t get discouraged your show isn’t bad just work on your characters. The stories are there, I’m happy about a lot of them. Again you got a lot of tournaments going on at once and that gets jumbled but I’m excited about the pay per view main event. I like the Doring direction, I like the Sinister Minister/FBI stuff. Keep this going and I hope this doesn’t make you feel like the show wasn’t good because it was. I’m not going to give a star rating or a number rating because that’s just kinda lame. Your show was good, REAL good for never doing this again. Its better than ninety percent of the stuff I read on here. So KEEP IT UP!
I keed I keed. Ok enough of that onto the review. Soon I hope to show you guys that I can walk the walk so to speak but for now I'm going to talk the talk and make with the detailed reviews. Alright Heb we’ve spent many of nights going over things trying to help you get your first “full outing” as I would call it as solid as possible. I’ve seen bits and pieces and I like what I’ve seen however I have not seen the show since you left some of it on the “cutting room floor”. So lets see what you came up with shall we?
Have you the ECW opening down to a tee. With ECW the crowd is a character as well. Just like Family Guy and their cut away scenes ECW has their verbal crowd. You did them justice without going OVERboard ya know. Or so far you haven’t. That being said I won’t pull no punches my good friend and by doing that I gotta admit I didn’t like Gertners limerick or whatever its called. Gertner is at his best when its kinda on the short side I feel. Such as Joel “A tisket…a tasket….let me put my BISCUIT in your basket” Gertner. (that’s an actual Gertner limerick from I believe ECW on TNN). So in short it was long, it was drawn out, part of it made little sense and I feel like joy juice although not bad was just kinda blah for me. Then we get into Heyman and you start him off real well and then again he falls flat and the “extreme” part of Heyman kinda dies down and he starts talking well like an every day boss. Then Foley with the “I’d love to accept” or whatever. Maybe a cheap pop, maybe a dig at Paul for the bounced checks. Its Mick he’s gonna do something more than “I accept”. I’m not saying its bad because its not and getting the characters down will take more than one show. Its just advice my man. Overall I got it, main event at ppv, main event tonight, Foley’s commish, Joel is a perv, the crowd is rabid, and ECW is EXTREME! So a good opener, but honestly it died down the more into it you got. Started out hot, ended luke warm ya dig?
Cyrus picked things up again. You seem to have a good grasp on Styles and a pretty good grasp on Joel as a color guy
Guido vs. Tajiri
I don’t now how many full matches you’ve written but this has got to be one of your firsts and its really good man. More of this stuff and you’ll be on the right track for sure. I liked it a lot. Then Sinister Minister comes out and I gotta admit I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. Guido injuring someone? Costing them something? I would imagine they would be referrering to 2001. Wrestling fans, even in ECW would be hard pressed to remember a feud between a mid card tag team or whatever they were that happened four and a half years ago. I’m not saying don’t bring up the past. But don’t talk about it in detail like it happened last week. Something along the lines of “we’ve confronted you and your blasphemous group before and it seems like everytime you people resort to trying to injur these men I care about” or whatever just you know generally reference it but don’t say “on three of those seven occasions we were injured, etc.” am I being clear enough here?
The Doring/Roadkill Promo
You remember how I just got done saying how its good to reference the past as long as it doesn’t get TOO detailed. This was the perfect amount of detail. He wasn’t saying too much, he gave us the information on how they won the titles, and held onto them at the next ppv. He gave us a story, and I felt like it flowed really well. So nothing blowing away charisma wise but it made you feel the guys pain. I like the chickens, champions, nobodies line nicely done good sir.
Sabu vs. JT Smith
I like Sabu vs. Raven its never been done before. This match is obviously just a chance for Sabu to kill someone and I’m ok with that. Fulfills the homicidal part of his nickname. The Raven promo again was a bit flat. The cheap heat and what not. What makes Raven so good is his ability to speak on such a high level clearly above what you would expect from an extreme wrestling champion, he teaches lessons on morality, loyalty, respect all the while adhering to NONE of these qualities which in my opinion makes him even better. I felt like you kinda went for too much cheap heat from Raven. In a case like that instead of saying “shut up people your all just blah blah blah” I would have went for “you see Sabu you might not be from this country, but the people here, they don’t cheer you because of the jaw dropping moves you do. They don’t cheer you for the extreme amounts of punishment your body is capable of withstanding in here every night. They cheer you because frankly you’re the lowest form of entertainment there is. These people cheer you because the type of people this place attracts are the LOWEST people. The dropouts, the drug addicts, the government dependants. Their idea of a good time isn’t taking in a show on Broadway, or taking a date to the movies….if they had dates. Its paying money to come into a dingy, worn down bingo hall and watch two men spill their blood on a canvas. You seem all to eager to quench their thirst for blood Sabu. At the pay per view they’ll get half of what they want. They’ll get a blood bath, the problem is its only going to be YOUR blood that’s spilled. These people are addicted to the blood Sabu and at the pay per view it will be YOUR blood that gives these blood junkies their high….quote the Raven Nevermore” You see how he’s working in what low lifes they are in direct correlation to a way it would pertain to his problems with Sabu? That’s how I’d do it. It doesn’t feel like cheap heat if he weaves it in and out like that. Its your show but that’s just my advice.
Impact Players. There was a time when these guys were my favorite tag team. AS you can tell by my series I love me some Lance Storm. Anyway I like what you did here. Their promo was solid, you didn’t do too much with it or expand on it. Short, sweet and to the point I like it a lot. The Storm match was good too btw, again these matches aren’t mean to be amazing and I like that. They feel like t.v matches a “preview” of what these guys can do in a lot of ways.
You Foley is just flat man. You need more jokes, you need more wise cracks, you need more cheap pops. Your getting random executive #33 in here man. You need to spice Foley up. Go back and watch some Mankind and Especially commish Foley shit. He’s gonna be a big part of your shows and needs a facelift.
Eddie Promo was good man. My only thing isn’t that It was too ethinic. You just stuck with the word “holmes” too much. Mix in some essa’s, and voto’s. You did fine other than that.
The Simon and Swinger stuff was ok, honestly its getting late and I skimmed that and the Dudleyz match. There is too much title tournament and six ways stuff going. I would have brought back the World Title, then I would have brought back the tag titles in maybe a crazy ECW four way. Then I would have brought back the T.V Title with a tournament. Your throwing these tournaments and six ways out there all at once its too much to keep track of it all ya know? That being said your Rhino promo was GREAT except for one line….I’m nitpicking but Rhino wouldn’t say “rendered you useless”. “Knocked your ass out” or whatever would have been better
The Corino promo was good as well. The only thing is throughout the whole show its “bleep this and bleep that”. It wasn’t that way on TNN. In reality Spike isn’t going to put someone on the air that has a thousand bleeps in it. A guy like Rhino that worked well for. Except it was done by Corino, it was done by a few more people in the show as well it just becomes old hat. Its more effective lie actual cussing if its used for one or two guys and its used sparingly enough to make an impact. I like that you bleeped the cuss words but in reality its network t.v and I know your trying to be EXTREME and that’s fine but every other guy doing it just kinda doesn’t work. That being said Corino’s little hype segment was pretty good.
The Main Event. GREAT brawling, you kept track of all of these guys very well. You didn’t lose yourself in the task that is writing this many guys brawling in a ring. You stayed true to each guys style. Easily your best written match and your best match period of the night. Very well done and I enjoyed the brawl at the end.
OVERALL
Overall not bad for your first outing. Again its late and I’ve already said segment by segment what was good and bad in those segments so let me leave you with these points. Get the characters down better. There is a website slashwrestling.com it was CRZ from the WRestleline crew of Keith, CRZ, the Online Onslaught guy. You might be too young to remember but SOMEONE reading this tell me you know about Wrestleline, and CRZ and Keith and OO etc.? Anyway my point being is that on that site the guy would write WORD for WORD what was happening on RAW and Nitro. It reads a bit like a fantasy booking only it was a recap of what was happening. He has promos word for word on there. Go in there and read how he writes these guys. Its how they actually talk because he was writing what they were actually saying on RAW. I know some of these guys aren’t RAW guys but for Foley, Eddie and some others that’s going to be your best bet. That or breaking out some youtube Eddie and Foley promos. Basically work on the guys characters like Raven, like Foley, Gertner’s limericks could use some work. Heyman could use some work. Check out actual promos of these guys. I mean watch five or ten of them. Pick up on their characterizations, their mannerisms.
For instance if you notice in my RCW series well you don’t. But Ressurection Championship Wrestling my developmental fed for WCW has Heyman as the head. On SD he would always say “Paul Heyman’s Smackdown” well in this he always says “Paul Heyman’s RCW. Heyman is a ranter, get him off on a tangent about how shitty someone is.
Don’t go “I don’t know you guys remember” go “I haven’t forgotten and I know you people have forgotten how that country music station treated us. They used us like we were one of the boys in the backs ring rat. When you were done with us you left us to fail, you left me to explain to a room full of men that they didn’t have a JOB anymore. They couldn’t feed their kids, they couldn’t make their car payments. That everything I had been telling them for the last TEN years was GONE, was DONE, was OVER. Well let me just say that Paul Heyman…no no no E…..C……W!!!!! Is BACK, we’re on the same number station on your cable box….but the guys that put ECW out of business are now out of business yourselves and E….C….W is back. We’re not watered down, we haven’t sold out, we’re more motivated than ever, we’re bigger than ever, and we’re more EXXXXXTREME than EVER!”.
Do you see the difference in my promo for Heyman and yours? Again its not great but do you see the passion, the attitude, the story telling? Your promo lacked that it was too polite, too nice. Paul Heyman is the renegade owner in charge of the renegade extreme promotion. Heyman in ECW was him against the world, ECW against the world. Everyone is out to see them fail, so WRITE them like everyone is out to get them.
My other word of advice is again less bleeps. One, two, three a show that’s fine. One guy gets bleeped a whole bunch that’s fine. But all over the show like that and it being on a national network….no pun intended wouldn’t be realistic. Again GOOD show Heb. Don’t get discouraged your show isn’t bad just work on your characters. The stories are there, I’m happy about a lot of them. Again you got a lot of tournaments going on at once and that gets jumbled but I’m excited about the pay per view main event. I like the Doring direction, I like the Sinister Minister/FBI stuff. Keep this going and I hope this doesn’t make you feel like the show wasn’t good because it was. I’m not going to give a star rating or a number rating because that’s just kinda lame. Your show was good, REAL good for never doing this again. Its better than ninety percent of the stuff I read on here. So KEEP IT UP!