Post by tennessee on Apr 20, 2007 22:43:15 GMT -5
An actual ROH series! I love ROH, so this better ne good. *shakes fist*
A quick promo and right to the action as an ROH DVD would do.
Rave vs Josh Daniels (whoever that is)
-No TP or pink streamers for Jimmy?
-Quick and painless. You do a pretty good job capturing Bower's speaking pattern.
3 way
-couple of nice spots but moving pretty quickly. aaaaand, it's over. Hmm. Nice win to establish GN as a rising force.
Lethal vs Evans
-Some nice high-flying action, but bro it's kind of hard to follow because of a lack of punctuation on some of the play by play. Example...
"Both men on the ground Lethal is able to get to his knees first and then stumbles into the turnbuckles Evans slowly to his feet and he charges Lethal in the corner Lethal lifts Evans and holds him firemans carry position runs to the middle of the ring and rolls forward taking Evans over in a Steam Roller Evans gets pumped up and heads to the top rope! "
That's just ... a mess, gramatically.
Aries vs Homicide
-Best match so far. I would've preferred a little more psychology though.
World title match
-I think something got screwed up here. One minute shelley is rolling outside the ring and the next he has an octopus stretch applied.
-Punk with the puro "fighting spirit", which in Japanese means "I choose not to sell your offense at this time"
-Aside from the hiccup and the lack of punctuation I mentioned before I really liked this. Good hold-for-hold type stuff, and the Aries attack sets up a good future rivalry.
Liger vs Danielson
-Another really good match. Nothing bad I can really say about the contest itself.
OVERALL
-You're obviously a fan of ROH. You know the guys, have some semblance of an idea of how they talk, what moves they do and how they set them up--which means you can incorporate some creative counters and such.
The last half of the show really picked up. Liger vs Danielson was great.
I think the commentary's a little lacking--but then again, Bower's kind of lacking in real life, so I guess that fits. Still this is a fantasy so if you wanna bring someone in to give that commentary some extra oomph, nothing's stopping you.
I do have some gripes.
Four of the matches--the first one, the 3 way, Lethal-Evans and the world title match--had one of those "oh gosh we almost had an upset" near-falls right off the bat. It just looked kind of formulaic and repetitive to see that same bit play out time and time again.
Also, I know ROH is lean on the interviews and such but I would have liked to see maybe one or two more backstage bits, perhaps with guys who weren't on the card.
One more thing...
I don't know if you read any of my CWF stuff, but I try to create an experience like you're watching the show play out in RL. Same with Den and Tom, my two favorites. You read their stuff and you can FEEL it, they can transport you to where it feels like a real show.
Your show really doesn't feel like an ROH show. The matches are good, and you seem to know the characters fairly well... but that energy and raucous crowd-type atmosphere that's present on an ROH DVD just seems to be lacking. Not sure actually how you'd translate that to a text format, but I'd love to see someone try.
Overall, I'll give it a 6/10.
A quick promo and right to the action as an ROH DVD would do.
Rave vs Josh Daniels (whoever that is)
-No TP or pink streamers for Jimmy?
-Quick and painless. You do a pretty good job capturing Bower's speaking pattern.
3 way
-couple of nice spots but moving pretty quickly. aaaaand, it's over. Hmm. Nice win to establish GN as a rising force.
Lethal vs Evans
-Some nice high-flying action, but bro it's kind of hard to follow because of a lack of punctuation on some of the play by play. Example...
"Both men on the ground Lethal is able to get to his knees first and then stumbles into the turnbuckles Evans slowly to his feet and he charges Lethal in the corner Lethal lifts Evans and holds him firemans carry position runs to the middle of the ring and rolls forward taking Evans over in a Steam Roller Evans gets pumped up and heads to the top rope! "
That's just ... a mess, gramatically.
Aries vs Homicide
-Best match so far. I would've preferred a little more psychology though.
World title match
-I think something got screwed up here. One minute shelley is rolling outside the ring and the next he has an octopus stretch applied.
-Punk with the puro "fighting spirit", which in Japanese means "I choose not to sell your offense at this time"
-Aside from the hiccup and the lack of punctuation I mentioned before I really liked this. Good hold-for-hold type stuff, and the Aries attack sets up a good future rivalry.
Liger vs Danielson
-Another really good match. Nothing bad I can really say about the contest itself.
OVERALL
-You're obviously a fan of ROH. You know the guys, have some semblance of an idea of how they talk, what moves they do and how they set them up--which means you can incorporate some creative counters and such.
The last half of the show really picked up. Liger vs Danielson was great.
I think the commentary's a little lacking--but then again, Bower's kind of lacking in real life, so I guess that fits. Still this is a fantasy so if you wanna bring someone in to give that commentary some extra oomph, nothing's stopping you.
I do have some gripes.
Four of the matches--the first one, the 3 way, Lethal-Evans and the world title match--had one of those "oh gosh we almost had an upset" near-falls right off the bat. It just looked kind of formulaic and repetitive to see that same bit play out time and time again.
Also, I know ROH is lean on the interviews and such but I would have liked to see maybe one or two more backstage bits, perhaps with guys who weren't on the card.
One more thing...
I don't know if you read any of my CWF stuff, but I try to create an experience like you're watching the show play out in RL. Same with Den and Tom, my two favorites. You read their stuff and you can FEEL it, they can transport you to where it feels like a real show.
Your show really doesn't feel like an ROH show. The matches are good, and you seem to know the characters fairly well... but that energy and raucous crowd-type atmosphere that's present on an ROH DVD just seems to be lacking. Not sure actually how you'd translate that to a text format, but I'd love to see someone try.
Overall, I'll give it a 6/10.
