Post by Hobo on Oct 31, 2008 22:17:47 GMT -5
A review by J. Hobo.
I like the run down of champions and of the card to start. Good stuff.
The opening was very cool. I like the way thta you don't play by play the announcers and such, but still get over everything that needs to get over. The one thing I'd suggest is expanding the formatting. More than a few times it was "and then this happened, and then he said this.." Mix it up a bit.
The opening tag match was pretty good, a nice fast paced tag match to open the show. I didn't like how you clearly laid out where the finish was. Even though there was more to go, I didn't like how the proverbial third wall was knocked down, putting in something other than the match with the match.
I do like the way your match headers are laid out. Very much like the long lost BOOK style. Kudos on that. I liked the X-Division match. Good back and forth match, really showcased what you can do as a writer. Being that this is the first show i've read from you, this is definately the best match I've read from you.
. Hopefully the show just gets better as it goes!
.... work in progress
I like the run down of champions and of the card to start. Good stuff.
The opening was very cool. I like the way thta you don't play by play the announcers and such, but still get over everything that needs to get over. The one thing I'd suggest is expanding the formatting. More than a few times it was "and then this happened, and then he said this.." Mix it up a bit.
The opening tag match was pretty good, a nice fast paced tag match to open the show. I didn't like how you clearly laid out where the finish was. Even though there was more to go, I didn't like how the proverbial third wall was knocked down, putting in something other than the match with the match.
I do like the way your match headers are laid out. Very much like the long lost BOOK style. Kudos on that. I liked the X-Division match. Good back and forth match, really showcased what you can do as a writer. Being that this is the first show i've read from you, this is definately the best match I've read from you.
. Hopefully the show just gets better as it goes!.... work in progress
