Post by Hobo on Dec 21, 2006 20:55:07 GMT -5
Already envious. Always wanted to do an indy level, but instead went Indy feel at a national level. Nothing says “indy” more than 35 people in Midlo. Kudos on the instant indy feel.
Opening tag match was pretty good, to be honest. I like the heelish double teaming. One of those things that you either hit or miss, and you hit it. The format of your show leaves a little bit to be desired in the detail department, but it is easy to work around this to see the good show at the base. Commentary would help, though.
Ok, I’m to the second match, and we’re already at four “fly in” talents. If you’re going to be running in front of 35 people, you can’t afford to be bringing in guys from England, Canada, etc, especially not one after another. If you’re going to run a “small scale” show, then run off the local talents. Chicago has a very rich indy scene, so run off those. Guys like Darin Corbin, Ryan Cruz, Arik Cannon, Trik Davis, CHUCKIE SMOOTH!!! etc. are all good, instead of the expensive fly in talents.
I’m seeing where your format is going wrong, and it becomes painfully obvious in the Steen-Williams match. Instead of cutting it to “For most of the match..” for the second paragraph, continue it as you were. Continue writing the full match as it was in the first paragraph, and by the second or third, you should have a well thought out, good formatted match. That said, I liked Steen-Williams and Steen playing the asshole heel. That’s the perfect role for him.
Going back to the fly-in talent deal, but not going to harp on it any more. B-Boy is expensive though. And he won’t drive either, he’s a rat bastard that has to fly.
Aries and B-Boy is definitely the match of the night so far. I liked the back and forth nature of it and it exposes your true potential as a match writer.
Necro versus Younger is STIFF~! I loved the wild brawling nature and how your captured the stiffness. A stiff match is not an easy thing to write for, especially when it’s just chops, kicks, and punches, but you seemed to do it well. One thing that bothered me though, is that Toby Klein was at ringside, but he didn’t really do anything. I would have liked to see him get involved in some way, even if it was just handing Necro chairs to throw at Drake or something.
The post match with Vulgar Display of Power running in is awesome. I know where this is going and I like it, a lot.
Ki and Homicide was pretty good. Not what I was expecting out of those two though, to be honest.
Overall, a pretty good showing for your first show. I know a lot of guys write their first show and it’s so bad it’s unreadable. This is pretty good, actually. The big problem I see is the fly in talents. Running a show in front of 35 people then having a bunch of INTERNATIONAL fly ins just isn’t that believable. Rely more on the local talents, if only until your fed gets “big”. You know the Chicago area talent a lot better than I do. You’ve got a big chance here to expose people to new guys they may have never heard of, guys that normal people would see their name and think “who the fuck is that”? Those “who the fuck” talents are the guys who work cheap and save you from eating stale hot dogs for dinner. I’d say fall on those guys more than the Jody Fleisch’s, Jonny Storm’s, Doug Williams‘, and Kevin Steen’s. Just a little suggestion.
Opening tag match was pretty good, to be honest. I like the heelish double teaming. One of those things that you either hit or miss, and you hit it. The format of your show leaves a little bit to be desired in the detail department, but it is easy to work around this to see the good show at the base. Commentary would help, though.
Ok, I’m to the second match, and we’re already at four “fly in” talents. If you’re going to be running in front of 35 people, you can’t afford to be bringing in guys from England, Canada, etc, especially not one after another. If you’re going to run a “small scale” show, then run off the local talents. Chicago has a very rich indy scene, so run off those. Guys like Darin Corbin, Ryan Cruz, Arik Cannon, Trik Davis, CHUCKIE SMOOTH!!! etc. are all good, instead of the expensive fly in talents.
I’m seeing where your format is going wrong, and it becomes painfully obvious in the Steen-Williams match. Instead of cutting it to “For most of the match..” for the second paragraph, continue it as you were. Continue writing the full match as it was in the first paragraph, and by the second or third, you should have a well thought out, good formatted match. That said, I liked Steen-Williams and Steen playing the asshole heel. That’s the perfect role for him.
Going back to the fly-in talent deal, but not going to harp on it any more. B-Boy is expensive though. And he won’t drive either, he’s a rat bastard that has to fly.
Aries and B-Boy is definitely the match of the night so far. I liked the back and forth nature of it and it exposes your true potential as a match writer.
Necro versus Younger is STIFF~! I loved the wild brawling nature and how your captured the stiffness. A stiff match is not an easy thing to write for, especially when it’s just chops, kicks, and punches, but you seemed to do it well. One thing that bothered me though, is that Toby Klein was at ringside, but he didn’t really do anything. I would have liked to see him get involved in some way, even if it was just handing Necro chairs to throw at Drake or something.
The post match with Vulgar Display of Power running in is awesome. I know where this is going and I like it, a lot.
Ki and Homicide was pretty good. Not what I was expecting out of those two though, to be honest.
Overall, a pretty good showing for your first show. I know a lot of guys write their first show and it’s so bad it’s unreadable. This is pretty good, actually. The big problem I see is the fly in talents. Running a show in front of 35 people then having a bunch of INTERNATIONAL fly ins just isn’t that believable. Rely more on the local talents, if only until your fed gets “big”. You know the Chicago area talent a lot better than I do. You’ve got a big chance here to expose people to new guys they may have never heard of, guys that normal people would see their name and think “who the fuck is that”? Those “who the fuck” talents are the guys who work cheap and save you from eating stale hot dogs for dinner. I’d say fall on those guys more than the Jody Fleisch’s, Jonny Storm’s, Doug Williams‘, and Kevin Steen’s. Just a little suggestion.
