Post by Hobo on May 28, 2008 11:51:45 GMT -5
Zombies, you're improving by leaps and bounds every time I read your stuff. Comparing this show to the first show I read from you if like night and day. My biggest suggestion is that when you've got something written, to sit down and re-read it. Try to make speech sound charecter specific. Like, for example, the Jerry Lynn and Ian Rotten promos didn't feel like them. I'd suggest trying to perfect the way people speak, as a priority. Larry Sweeney is a glaring example of this. He's not mean and angry, in fact, he's about the oppisite of this. Try to make him like this. The jolly yet heel Sweeney we all know and love.
Another fault is in your description. Everything is well described, but at times, it feels like things are over described for the sake of describing more stuff. Like, the attires. It's all well and good to give a brief run down of their attire, but there's not a whole lot of reason to go in depth on each person's attire. it hinders the flow of the show.
But really, congrats on improving. You are getting better
Another fault is in your description. Everything is well described, but at times, it feels like things are over described for the sake of describing more stuff. Like, the attires. It's all well and good to give a brief run down of their attire, but there's not a whole lot of reason to go in depth on each person's attire. it hinders the flow of the show.
But really, congrats on improving. You are getting better
